2 weeks home

So after 36 hours I was feeling human again. JaLia has had difficulty getting to bed at night. I tried to move back her bed time by 2 hours each night. She slept fine at the hotel and they told me, complete dark and no night light. Here she just screamed till you picked her up. I was afraid to move her to the bedroom because the boys needed to sleep for school. We finally just left the light on in her room and she made it thru the night just fine. After 2 good days she caught a low fever with no other symptoms that I could see so I thought I had just pushed her too much and she was "checking out" of these strange new things happening to her. She'd perk right up and eat with gusto so I let her sleep and didn't think to take her to the Dr............................. She either bites her lip at night or just rubs her nose on the sheet too much but she has been waking up with a bloody face and I had to get darker sheets. She also has a terrible habit of wiping her nose with her sleeves which helps contribute to the raw chapped face..................................................... Wednesday we went for our visit to Riley. She does have a large hole which will need repair. I have to talk with the Dr tonight and see when they can get her in. He is thinking about 3 weeks. ******ooh he just called and they want her next week so I can stay on my original plan. She will stay in the hospital anywhere from 4-10 days and then need 2 weeks to recover. On top of that she does have an ear infection. We put her on antibiotics and she perked right up. Her vaccination record looked good but I've heard those are often falsified or just a weak dosage that really needs to be redone................................ She refuses to drink American formula so they said it was best to revert to the bottle and see if that helps. She sucks down water all day so i feel good about that. I've been giving her fortified cereals cause I knew kids don't get enough iron but I didn't know that gummy vitamins don't have iron in them so i need to switch those. I suck at transitioning kids from baby food to people food so i need to work on her variety. So far everything has been mush. She could feed herself, I need to get over the clean up issue ~hahaah Her only dislikes so far have been french toast and grilled cheese. I'm really careful not to give her alot of things that she could eat but have gobs of preservatives,sodium and other chemicals that she is not used too.

I made it back....ALIVE

Now I know why my trip was so uneventful, the trip back was hell. I have to give a big shout out to Nikki and Bob, my Sooner Saviors!!!!. They hail from Edmond and I hope their daughter Brook is as thrilled with her new sister Bailey as my boys are with JaLia. They were on my flights from Guangzhou to Shanghai to Chicago and really helped out with the long layovers, baggage pick ups, security checks, customs and whats up with escalators at the gates?? I became a pro at getting that stroller up and down those escalators. While the trip over was great, we got sat in the middle of the 5 seat row on the way back. JaLia's foot was just small enough to fit under the armrest and she kick the lady next to us the whole way. I also figured out that she HATES seat belts. No matter how loose I made it, she fussed loudly. Unfortunately our evening flight from China was expecting turbulence so the seat belt needed to be left on and dinner was delayed over an hour. Luckily I had packed LOTS of snacks and that was the only thing that kept her quiet. I got back to a sick husband, so we were all miserable, all weekend. Sunday, just when I was getting to feel human again, I discovered the boys had Lice and then JaLia caught Jesse's flu.

Wednesday-Last Day in China

Wouldn't you know it, that last day and the sun came out. Yesterday we went to a museum of an old house, which is a big square with an open courtyard in the middle. It was cloudy so I didn't get many good pictures but it was a good ride back with lots of culture to see. Just started to get my bearings around here and it is time to leave.

I thought I would have more room in my suitcase without the orphanage gifts, but I guess I just filled them up with gifts for home. I also thought it best not to be short on diapers so I'm loaded up on those too.

I took JaLia to the park and she played hard. I usually keep her from a nap with all our running around but she passed out at 3pm so I need to wake her up so she will sleep tonight or let her sleep and wake her up early and hope she naps during our 7 HOUR layover in China. But I really want her to sleep on the 14 hour flight so I guess I should wake her up and let her cry in the room where I won't bother anyone. ~haha

Tuesday

We did the unceremonious red couch picture. The day is still cloudy and batteries are not strong enough to hold the flash ! Went to the open air museum, would of been nicer if it was a sunny day. Eva offered to take me to chinese resturant and then when I ordered, she told me she was leaving for a meeting.... haha It wasn't that good anyway. It is such a shame there is no GOOD food on this compound. They have some souviener shops but not like you would expect them to gear towards tourists. Anyway I'll pack tomorrow and get up real early Thursday for the long trip home. Since it's a week day I am hoping the flight will be not full.

Sunday

Sunday: Still cloudy, I went to early mass (all in chinese) and spoke with the priest beforehand. We took a trip to the zoo and my chinese batteries lasted about 20 minutes. JaLia was a real pill today, wouldn't drink anything all day. Wouldn't put on her hat, blanket, sit in stroller or walk by herself. She just wanted to be held. She wasn't happy but I made her take a nap. Now I will never get her to sleep.

Saturday

Saturday : It was cloudy and chill again, we spent the afternoon at the asian Wal-Mart. It was gearing up for Chinese New Years and I got some decorations. Took some wine coolers back to my room and ate noodles, again.

Friday

Friday : I woke up in a foul mood and thought I was coming down with something. The guide took us on a walking trip to the mall and it was sunny so the fresh air helped. After the trip everyone wanted to eat together so I got a beer and some hot food.

Thursday

Thursday: The day was cloudy and chill and everyone wanted to stay inside so I ended up staying in my room soooo boring.

Can U say H-A-P-P-Y??

For a girl with a heart condition, you would never know it. JaLia runs non-stop all day and is full of energy.

Boys: she loves hard boiled eggs but like you, not the yolk so much.

This morning a chinese guy asked if she was a boy or girl.....I guess the hot pink sweater and pants with bows was NOT a dead give away.

I gave her a bath and she loved it !!! Even the hair washing. It must have been the stacking cup magic.

Today was such a beautiful day. It got way too hot in the room, and I had to open a low window and turn off the central since they only have heat this time of year. The windows don't have screens on them so it will just be a matter of time before JaLia figures out how to throw her toys into the alley. I made them bring me a fan. Did I mention that my room is right over all the air returns. No wonder I am not sleeping. I didn't look at the clock last night but I was up for hours and then slept till 8am. I haven't slept that late in over 10 years!!!!

I made myself go out for a walk around the compound and what a difference a little shopping will do for a girl's mood. We skipped lunch and nap and went to the passport office. I met the family with the little boy from the same orphanage. She said that the orphanage had a pool, and they heard they had won some awards. You can tell it in JaLia's personality.

Then I met a lady who thought her daughter was from the same orphanage. They were the same age, but her daughter was unsteady walking and timid, soooo shy. They had been told she was potty trained and could feed herself. You just never know and it's all up to the divine. Speaking of that, I did find a Catholic church here on the compound but did not see any sign for mass times.

We got back from paperwork around 4:00, so I decided to venture out on my own for dinner. I went into what I thought was a resturant but it wasn't and then I couldn't find another one nearby so I was back in front of Lucy's. I was determinded NOT to eat American, so I had some lamb kabobs and fried rice and JaLia had noodles. The wine wasn't bad either.

Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight.

The last thing I wanted to eat in China was Subway!!

It was another great day. We had to get up early so we could go to the bank again. They take a real long time at the bank too, not just with US money but everybodies!!

We had to go back to the civil affairs office and say we were happy with our child and wanted to keep them. It was so great seeing all the new families!!

We had a small lunch and Jalia took a looong nap, when she got up (around 4:00) we went out for a stroll and I just grabbed a Subway for dinner. Hopefully when more people arrive they will want to venture out and eat at some local resturants. There aren't very many here on the compound and they don't seem to cater to English although they might when we get inside.

Jalia is a ball of fire. She breathes heavy, and I can't tell if it's the cold or her heart. She is very crouppy so hopefully that will go away soon. She eats well and Boys- she loves waffles, whale crackers and bananas. We also watched Power Rangers, Ben 10 and poke'mon in chinese. She has a constant look on her face like she has a joke and is waiting for you to catch on to it....

Well hopefully she will get sleepy soon, last night it was 9-930 before she went down. I am not sleeping well but we aren't doing anything so it's not like I'm worn down sitting in the hotel room. New camera batteries are dead already and I didn't bring spares so I need to get more and I'll try to send pictures..

Gotcha Day - I got her !!!!

Wow what a trip, Nothing like what I had prepared for, all these years. I fretted over the packing and nobody even checked my carry-ons. I know I was over weight on them but nobody cared. The flight was great, nobody talks about that. My plane was empty and everyone got to spread out. I bought a sandwhich to take on and then they feed us 2 hot meals, two snacks and drinks on the hour!!!!! I guess that made up for the 6 hr layover I had in Shanghai. I couldn't check in till 2 hrs before the flight so I ended up sitting on the cold floor. They don't have many seats in the departure area and lots of people were there waiting!!

l got to my hotel about 2:00am local time. It's 13 hours time ahead of Indiana. I wasn't impressed with the area. There were not many families here, and I was bored to death. The quaint architecture is still cold, and I just had a feeling of foreboding.

We got to the civil affairs office early, and it was a trip to see all the other families come in. So many were on their 2nd &3rd adoption and had brought the big brothers and sisters. Some children cried, some were a little scared. One boy about 5 just shrieked and shrieked, my heart went out to those parents.

Once again I lucked out big time !!! NiNi is happy, babbling, and not a bit worried about being left with me. She is not as big as the clothes or diapers I have so we will have some emergency shopping to do. A stroller is on my list too as there is so much to carry around.

Tomorrow, I will figure out how to hook up the camera. I didn't get aroom with a computer so I'm down here in the business center.

Welcome Amy

Since Blogger is blocked by the Chinese, I had to find a ghost blogger. Amy so graciously offered to help me out. I will be emailing her and she will upload them for me. I sure hope I can figure out how to upload pictures too. I will not be able to read your comments but feel free to post them and I will read them all when I get back. You can also attempt to email me at dworsena@gmail.com but I might not have time to reply to you. I'm sure I will be busy eating dim sum and faking my way through Cantonese lullabies.

This is it

Tuesday we had a snow day and I guess I really needed to stay home cause I had lots of little unfinished things to do. I also had to unpack and repack several times and still don't have everything I need. I really didn't want to go to Beijing in winter for this very reason. The weather down in Guaunzhou will hopefully be in the 60's. I packed so little that I will need to do laundry twice for the 14 day trip and still my suitcases are stuffed. I know I didn't pack enough gifts. I did finally remember to pack a few things for JaLia but since I don't know her size it would be smarter to wait and get her some clothes there. I wondered if the act of taking her into a store, letting her help me pick items out and then buying them for her will help to build some attachment. I just pray I make it thru security with all this stuff. If they unzip my suitcase it could be a disaster.

I can go, no really I can

I forgot to mention but I hope you all guessed. I got that very important piece of paper in the mail Friday. I don't have to postpone, I don't have to pay a penalty. I actually went to work friday with a bit of JOY in my step and now I know why.....adoption miracles were afoot.

Time travel

Some malicious folk wanted me to explain to them how long my travel will be. I have been carefully avoiding this as I am a go-to-bed-early person and I get very cranky when I'm tired. I nervously sat down and tried to figure it up. I leave home at 530am, leave Indiana at 900, get to Chicago 1 hr later. After a 1 hr layover, I board my flight for Shanghai. I arrive 7 thousand miles and 14 1/2 hrs later in Shanghai (at 200am my time)....can you say cranky. Actually I wake up at 2am all the time so maybe it won't be so bad. I packed lots of sleeping pills so hopefully I'll pass out early enought to get 6 hours of sleep which I'll really need cause my next layover is 5 1/2 hr long. I'm paranoid I'll fall asleep at the airport and miss my next flight!!!!!!! The last leg is a 2 1/2 hr flight and gets me into Guangzhou at 1130 pm. (It will be 10am my time.) I hope that after a hot shower and more sleeping pills I will be able to relax till the famous breakfast buffet opens up. ~~~~I'm interested to know if the alarm clocks are in chinese or english.

8 more days

Not much news this week....I'm still waiting on that important paper but won't know till Monday if my world will crumble. I did find out I'm not the only odd man out going in my group so I will have someone else going thru the same extra hoops as me. That make 4 families total in my travel group and 1 lives about 40 minutes away from me.

An expensive mistake

I figured out AFTER I made my plane reservations that one of the many forms that I will carry to China with me needs to not just be notarized BUT state and Chinese consulate authenticated. I express mailed the paperwork to Indianapolis both ways but that didn't help with their 1 week turn-around-time. In a panic I was on the phone wheeling and dealing with driving to indy to pick up document and then overnighting to Chicago to have the courier walk thru before she took off for christmas vacation but in the end I couldn't handle the STRESS. I made the expensive decision to postpone my flights and the next consulate appt. I could get was for the 24th. Now I am leaving on the 14th of January. My GOTCHA day will be Jan 17th. I did get my state authentication before Christmas so I mailed it out first thing today. The Chinese consulate is open the week between Christmas and New Years but I'm not sure the 4 business day turn-around-time will include the 29th or the 31st so I promise not to panic till the 10th. I will be with 1 other family the whole time instead of alone 1 week and then with 3 other families the next week.----not sure how that translates into sharing expenses but hopefully they don't charge me more!!

My daughter doesn't speak CHINESE !!!!

What???? that's to say, she doesn't speak mandarin. You know that Chinese dialect that most of China speaks. Since she is from the south, she speaks Cantonese. All those years of practicing mandarin, the class I took, the dictionary I bought, the 37 Ni Hao Kai-lan's I taped, the story I wrote that I wanted to read to her in pin-yin. I guess it's back to sign language and pantomime.

Getting a referral at christmas time sounds romantic but what a pain in the ass !!!!!! I couldn't send off for a visa till I got back from my vacation to Mexico (yea 8 months ago, a vacation this time of year sounded like a fun thing to do) so I left everything at work to be mailed off first thing Monday. Did I mention I drove back Sunday night in a nice little snow storm?? So school was closed Monday and I got my huband to take off 1/2 day so I could go in and get it mailed. My courier service is off over the holidays but assures me she will have it in the mail and delivered by the 24th. I need to cut all my fingernails off now before I bite them to the quick. The American consulate in Guangzhou is closed till Jan 3rd but since the consulate appt. comes at day 10 of the trip I didn't understand why I couldn't leave as soon as my visa arrived (Dec 27th??) anyway they got me an appointment for the 11th so I am planning on leaving Jan 1st. I'm sure the plane will be very quiet and I hope the pilot doesn't have a hang over!!!!! I remembered to get some papers signed by my husband and notarized while we were both near the bank. Oh what's that in the fine print?? One of the documents needs to be notarized AND state authenticated AND chinese consulate authenticated. Wow, wish someone had mentioned that 6 weeks ago!! Since the post office will be closed for about 4 days I'm not sure I will be able to leave on the 1st. Good thing I haven't faxed in my travelers insurance yet. I'm gonna need that extended plan. So I'm doing what I can and not (externally) sweating what I can't. I hope to have some nice time off with the boys and my niece so I can get the tree up and looking a little like christmas. The big trauma will be getting Jesse moved out of JaLia's room and into my closet. Once I get the room dusted and fluffed I will feel so much better. I can almost feel the brass ring at the end of this carousel ride.

I have Travel Authority

Dated 11-22, 5 weeks earlier than projected timelines.

Nobody ever said why, but it was repeatedly suggested to me that I wait till I get back from Mexico to apply fro my visa. I am stressing the timeline. I would mail it the 13th of Dec. to the courier, it is suppose to take 4 business days to process but she mentioned getting it back the 22nd ?? and I would get it the 24th. USPS won't run the 24th so I can't possible take a flight out the 27th...I'm praying I can leave the 28th and my passport & visa will be here.

Letter of Acceptance

We signed and returned our Pre Approval on 10-29. China was suppose to review everything and get back with us in 4 weeks. Well.....it took 4 days and that included Saturday and Sunday!! Can you say "too good to believe?" I found a typo in the birth date on the Letter of Acceptance. My agency wasn't concerned about it so we zipped it back to China 11-3. Supposedly travel is 8 weeks away. Then China sent me a second LOA with the new birth date, we resigned it, sent it back and since there was a holiday we missed the cut off. It likly won't go back to China till 11-18. I'm keeping my fingers crossed they work with the first LOA date. Jesse is taking the week between Christmas and New Years off to watch the kids so it would be great if that was part of my 2 week trip.

We made it !!!!!!!!!

Finally after all the waiting, we have a referral. Our daughter was born around July 13th of 2008 so she is currently 27 months old. She is the size of an 18 month old and very quiet. She has a heart defect known as a VDS which is easily operable and we'll fix her right up to rumble tumble with her big brothers. Other than being a 22 lb peanut, she is healthy and developmentally on track. The referral came Oct 20th, our LOI went out the 22nd and we got Pre Approval the 28th. Projections for travel are late January but I would love to speed it up and leave before New Years !!

Well, I attemped to join the Special Needs line in May. There were more parenting workbooks to fill out, an application that had the same information as my annual homestudy update, a SN checklist to fill out (which my husband constatly said...I leave it up to you) and a Letter of Intent form which has all of 7-10 blocks and none of them could possibly be filled out until you had an actual child picked out but they want it now anyway.

I sent a follow up email in July and was told they weren't considering us yet cause I didn't have it ALL completed, oh and by the way, we need new passport photos and family photos.....it never stops. Put more information on the forms and sent them in again.

My homestudy gets renewed in Sept. so I need to add the consideration for all the Special Needs we would consider, update my home study info and then use the homestudy info to update my SN packet again. Are you enjoying the ride??

When I started checking around for girls on the SN lists, Jesse started back peddling on all my picks. Didn't I realize that a hearing impaired daughter wouldn't be able to hear the coondogs when he took her hunting?? no I hadn't thought of that. I guess that fact that our boys are hearing able but NEVER listen to us isn't the same thing. I guess the fact that a biological son turned homebody and will likely never go coon hunting is also beside the point. `haha

Back to sitting and waiting.............

When is the next blue moon??

We have now been logged in for 39 months. The bad news is that the wait has also lengthened. It moved from 44 months to 49months. Goodby birthday present...did I say 8's were lucky?? Maybe fate is making me wait till NEXT August, my 48th birthday.

Jesse has agreed to enter the Special Needs line and renew our paperwork 1 LAST TIME.Now if I can just get off my butt and get more paperwork filled out!!!!!!

here we go ....AGAIN

36 months seems so far away from zero. Have we really been waiting that long?? Of course 36 is so close to 44, which is what the wait was the last time I checked.

No reason to post if you've got no news to talk about. I'm getting real good at just putting it out of my mind..... till it's time to pay for that annual Home Study update, then I get an earful from the husband. I'm getting real good at putting the package together, I had everything done and sent off 5 weeks before it was due. Wouldn't you know it for the first time, the HS agency botched it up and I didn't get a copy back till 5 weeks after it was due. Then I misread the USCIS paperwork and didn't get it sent in for another 5 weeks. I freaked out....could I really go through all this and then lose out on a technicality?????? I decided to leave it up to fate. Did CIS really care about deadlines?? Yawn, no big deal...... they know I'm not going anywhere soon. Got renewed for another 15 months.......... Please God NO

Mostly the only time I really think about it is when I'm renewing my CD's.....do I buy the 6 month or the 9 month no penalty? Look at all the 12 month interest I've lost out on ~haha. So maybe the 44 month wait will hold (or shorted as many have predicted) and I'll hear something in August. Yes, that is month 43 but it's my BD month and the number 8 is considered lucky in China. 08-08-10 I will get a referral call, yea yea I know that's a Sunday.

It would be my dream to travel by late September, be back by the boys BD in October and take leave through the Fall.

That's my dream and I'm sticking to it.

28 months.....and counting

Tomorrow is my 28th month anniversary from when China accepted my family as a potential caretaker for one of their citizens. It was June of '08 before they had time to review my file and truly accept us. I know this is not to be taken lightly. As the wait gets longer, it gives me time to ponder.... I have two children and there are so many out there waiting who have none. Every month that goes by is two months more of waiting. In March the wait was 36 months, now it's the end of May and we are at 38 months. One thing I hold to is that if I was not waiting....I'd still be wanting, so I might as well do both.

A sad note

Today I saw this interesting article. It was in usatoday and got lots of negitive feedback.

While I too, am waiting (now at 25 1/2 months) I applaud China for getting it's head out of it's ass and starting to look at it's Human Rights policies. Of course, I think China is slightly biased towards us outsider's average weight ranges and if you have seen the air pollution in China, you'd know that second-hand tobacco smoke would be a step up.

Here is parts of the article, edited for length. ~ GUANGZHOU, China — The White Swan is empty. The five-star hotel here that historically has housed American couples looking to adopt Chinese babies now only sees a slow trickle of would-be foster parents after the Chinese adopted a raft of stricter rules a few years back. The cribs and baby strollers the hotel lends out sit idle. The tables in its 1980s-era lounge overlooking the Pearl River are gloomily vacant. None of this bodes well for American couples looking to adopt here, but it highlights the progress China has made as social mores here shift for the better. Since 1989, China has sent more orphans — over 70,000 — to the United States than any other country. American couples flock here because its system is far smoother and more transparent than most. And China's one-child policy has resulted in millions of baby girls left abandoned, not to mention millions more aborted. The likelihood that your adopted girl is an actual orphan and does not suffer from, say, prenatal alcohol syndrome, is greater in China than most places. And let's face it, Chinese babies are cute — something the authorities here play up. But adoptions are down dramatically, as a result of the restrictions imposed in 2007: just fewer than 4,000 Chinese babies were adopted by American couples last year, about half the total in 2005. Much is fair game to disqualify prospective parents: Age (nobody under 30), marital history and sexual orientation all matter now. Even issues of health — being overweight or taking antidepressants — can nix a couple's application. That has Americans frustrated.

But China's new adoption rules, while onerous, simply reflect its evolution into a more modern society. After all, Beijing is well within its right to decide its own rules and weed out unhealthy parents. Why shouldn't it try to prevent its orphans from inhaling secondhand smoke? China also appears to be relaxing its laws on the number of children Chinese families can have. Sure, it's partly a PR gambit. Ahead of last year's Olympics, the government did not want be perceived abroad as deadbeat caretakers. But it's also a concerted effort to reverse its gender imbalance. "China's feeling the stress of having lost so many girls," says Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. As income levels in China rise, more couples are just breaking the one-child policy and paying the fine (about $5,000). Adoptions by Chinese couples are up. And social attitudes are evolving, too, resulting in fewer parents discarding their daughters. Half the Sky Foundation, a U.S.-based nonprofit, reports that fewer healthy babies are entering its orphanages in China. Of course, data are difficult to verify, but these anecdotal trends are positive. What's more, the notion of American foster parents rescuing abandoned orphans from Dickensian state-run institutions, while romantic, may be somewhat overblown. "Unfortunately, this story is largely fiction," E.J. Graff of Brandeis University wrote recently in Foreign Policy. Most orphans are older than 5, sick or disfigured — not the kind most Westerners want. Think of the baby in the newspaper staring up at readers with a cleft lip. Even so, it seems unfair: At a time when a California woman makes headlines for giving birth to octuplets, there are thousands of infertile American couples for whom foreign adoption remains their best — and least costly — option for parenthood. Their prospects are only exacerbated by China's tougher regulations. But it signals good news for Chinese society, which is becoming more welcoming toward its newborn daughters and domestic adoption. Were the White Swan to close, nobody in China would probably mind. Lionel Beehner is a writer based in New York City. Posted at 12:15 AM/ET, March 18, 2009

What happened to spring????

As I dance between winter and spring, dreaming of all the great things I can do with my kids this summer, I saw this article.

Just another slap of reality we all need to keep on top of. So hard to do in my little town in S. Indiana. Where is my daughter?? Who is looking after her??

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/world/asia/05kidnap.html

Jan 30 th Happy (????) Anniversary

Wellll.... I've been officially waiting now for 24 months. I am plowing forward with positive visualizations. All things will happen this year. I marked the occasion, my LAST waiting anniversary with a start to a Red Thread cross stitch. I started with the traditional red and black colors and am planning on doing another in purple/pink/yellow for JLee's room.

Jan 26th -Year of the Ox

That's certainly what we needed to get to work Tuesday, we got 6" of snow.

Of course, that's better than the sleet and 4" more we got before Wednesday.

They closed the base for the first time in years !!!